i thought a lot before writing this post. it’s not exactly what you have in mind to share with the world, it’s a bit on the line of “the things i’m afraid to tell you”, but i’m sure that i’m not alone on this, so here it goes! if in the end you think i suck, well too bad, i’m just human and make mistakes! last weekend i was reading this post by the incredible cassie and could not avoid feeling related to her challenges. she’s 26 and she admitted she was completely burned out. and it’s a tough thing to admit to ourselves, let alone the world. but i think that this is so common, that it needs to be shared. and the incredible thing happened, when dozens of readers shared their stories about feeling burned out, or that they had enough of what they’re doing or feeling lost.
the thing is that those of us who decided to follow a creative lifestyle, being freelancers, living the dream of working for ourselves, we also deal with major issues on a daily basis. i wrote about the ups and downs about being a freelancer in november, remember? and lately the thing that has been hitting me is the less positive feedback! how to deal with it? how not to question yourself and your qualities? how not to doubt yourself? how to take that and turning it into something good? well, i call it the growing pains! hard to deal with if you want to do a good job, excel at what you do, but you know you need to go through those issues in order to move on, to learn, to challenge yourself, however the taste is never sweet, but always bitter.
whenever a client says or writes something that is less positive, i always feel like a 5 year-old. i blush and i feel like crawling somewhere i can hide. it’s awful and i feel lousy. i start to think that maybe i’m not that good to be doing this on my own, maybe this is all a stupid thing to do, and i start to question myself. i need time to accept and process what someone told me, and figure out if that person is right or not. yes, because sometimes that person is simply wrong and you need to understand the issue and defend yourself. you also learn from this!
as you know i’m completely self-taught at what i do for a living. it feels great to make a living out of something i taught myself, but that also means that every single day is a challenge. it won’t be with some things, of course, because you learn and start feeling comfortable doing something. but sometimes you feel so overwhelmed by the requests, you want to do your best, and sometimes your best was not enough. or you did something that felt right, but somehow for your client didn’t feel that right and they complain. and you hear them complaining and it sucks! you feel ashamed, small, that you should have known better… but it is what it is. and you just gotta keep movin’!
somehow this also helps you learn a lot about yourself, how you do things, your values and ethics, your point of view, your standards, your customer service… it’s a full learning curve. it’s growing pains. it’s about feeling uncomfortable, but knowing that you’re on the right track! i feel uncomfortable so many times. it’s scary sometimes, but it feels amazing when something is over, delivered and with success and a smile (and a pay check!). and as tina fey believes “say yes and you’ll figure out afterward!“, this will bring you to new challenges, new perspectives, new bumps on the road, but as long as you keep moving, that’s the main thing!
Carina says
You are just amazing, keep that in mind miss <3
A sério, muito a sério! Tenho dito!
Big kiss
twiggs says
oh you and your kind of amazing words!!!! i feel good now after reading this comment, of course! how could i not? :) thank you lovely girl! this post goes out to you too, because i know these things are great to read and to understand. we are never alone! kiss kiss!
Cassie says
Hi there! Thanks so much for mentioning me and my “melt down” blog post. I’m glad it’s being shared with your readers.
I also wanted to chime in on the positive feedback aspect of freelancing. With freelancing, you’re going to be challenged to reach out to other creatives in your network and build a sounding board for your work. I’ve found it helpful to share my progress with other designers, so it can be critiqued along the way…hopefully eliminating any really harsh negative feedback from a client. If the negative feedback still comes your way, at least you know that other designers have weighed in.
Thanks again for sharing my story and good luck with your freelancing!
Cassie (The Veda House)
twiggs says
cassie i’m so honored by your visit! definitely what you say is a positive aspect, as well as all the challenging, i guess. i was challenged before on my other jobs, but i never learned so much as i learn now. there are a lot of positive things about being a freelancer, i think that sometimes the positive things are always shared and the less positive are kept hidden. and a lot of freelancers go through the same bumps on the road. fortunately i’ve never received harsh negative feedback (hope to never receive it) but the “but’s” and “however’s” make us feel really uncomfortable sometimes, but it’s all about growing and learning. one day at a time. good luck on your new ideas and projects!
Susana says
miss T, isso é tão, tão normal, até a mim me acontece, mas óbviamente menos, pq não me posso dar ao luxo q seja mais…
solução? duas :)
faz uma pequena formação na área q queres trabalhar (há com fartura e aprendes o básico, que é o q faz falta) e como diz a Cassie (e isso tu já deste vazão), uma boa rede de connections que estão lá para ti, nos momentos complicados, de ingenuidade ou falta de conhecimento ou simplesmente, para festejar e partilhar o champagne q deve estar sempre em stock no frigorífico :)
twiggs says
minha querida, obrigada pelo teu feedback!!! por acaso falava de outras áreas e de outro tipo de feedback, mas ainda assim tens toda a razão. e adorei a parte do champanhe! tem de haver sempre em stock para celebrações, grandes ou pequenas! um beijinho grande!
MissLilly says
ohh I guess it’s normal and part of the journey. but then you need to really take that feedback with you and analysing. It could be a case they just didn’t get your style or it could be that they had other expectations (so try to clarify expectations and all the conditions upfront… easier said than done!!) And it could have been an honest mistake, I mean we all do mistakes. It must be hard and you feel sad about it, especially when you put so much dedication on what you do. I love your style because it does feel so personal and always with a lot of care rather than extremely professional (in a formal sense of the word).
When those moments hit you, think about all you’ve achieved so far and all the positive feedback you also have, but see if that feedback is something that can really help you grow too :)
twiggs says
thank you sop much miss lilly, you got everything right! it’s a matter of growing, getting better and putting ourselves out there. we have to take all the risks! thank you for your constant support! hugs!!
Dulce says
Qualquer que seja a área em que trabalhemos, todos nós passamos por fases em que as dúvidas e as inseguranças nos assaltam e há dias em que certos comentários nos magoam mais e nos fazem questionar se estamos a seguir o rumo certo , mas em última análise todas as criticas servem para reavaliarmos o nosso trabalho e limarmos certas arestas.
Eu pelo pouco que conheço, pareces-me uma pessoa genuinamente simpática e interessada nos outros, o teu trabalho já tem um cunho muito pessoal, pela luminosidade já consigo ver se as fotos são tuas ou não …
Eu gosto e apesar dos altos e baixos pelos quais possas passar não questiones o teu talento, está todo lá ;)
Beijinhos
twiggs says
olá dulce!!! obrigada pelo teu comentário, é exactamente assim que sinto as coisas. é normal que passemos por momentos menos agradáveis, em que sentimos dúvidas, em que ficamos tristes, mas faz parte do caminho a percorrer e além de irmos limando essas arestas, também aprendemos a comunicar melhor o nosso trabalho e perspectiva. e claro às vezes também somos assaltados por momentos menos criativos, em que certas palavras que recebemos são ainda percepcionadas de outra forma mais negativa. um beijinho grande!
Conchita says
Miss T,
É a primeira vez que imprimo aqui um comentário, tinha que o fazer, gosto imenso do seu trabalho, visito o seu site todos os dias! Para além do talento, deixe-me lhe dizer que é uma corajosa de expôr os seus sentimentos, as fraquezas, as dúvidas, acho uma atitute muito altruísta. Pois, a maioria dos bloggers/pessoas(…) mostram que é tudo tão lindo, e perfeito, e nós pensamos que o problema está apenas em nós!!
Continue…, é assim que se constrói os castelos (…), os caminhos (…). Também tento construir os meus castelos e os meus caminhos (…) não é fácil. Um abracinho grande. Much love.
twiggs says
olá conchita!!! muito obrigada pelo comentário e apoio! pensei muito antes de partilhar e escrever este post. mas achei que devia fazê-lo por mim, e também pelas pessoas que estão a fazer um enorme esforço para seguirem o coração e por um estilo de vida criativo. nem sempre é fácil, além de todas as coisas fabulosas que existem em assumir este caminho. e como dizia, precisamos de perceber que não somos só nós que fazemos isto ou aquilo, mas é normal e faz parte do caminho que escolhemos. um beijinho grande!
sara (moshimoshiii) says
Sempre a aprender! Sempre a evoluir! Força Cláudia, eu sei que acreditas em ti, 90% do tempo!
twiggs says
thank you sara!!!! é sempre bom ler estes comentários assim!! um beijinho grande e obrigada pelo apoio!
Chatty says
I just stumbled on your blog and it is really a good post. Thanks for sharing.
twiggs says
thank you so much chatty ;)