new york city, 1996

i fell for new york city back in 1993, when i visited it for the first time. i will never forget the weeks before i traveled, i was so afraid that something bad could happen that would make me stay at home that summer. i remember the night before the departure i fell asleep with a strong stomach ache and i was so scared that something was wrong and would make me go to the hospital and miss my flight. but then i fell asleep and the morning after i woke up and went to the airport. i flew alone, leaving my mom and aunt (the beautiful aunt that passed away this year) behind all in tears, while i was being lead by a flight attendant. i was so excited! i was going to meet my other parents that live in new york. and now i explain, before you think i was adopted, though there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just not the true story.

i had a nanny in the first 5 years of my life, i was never in school before 1st grade, and i spent all day with this family, while my parents were working. because they had older children that called them mom and dad, when i learned how to talk, i started calling them that way as well. and the funny thing is that i still call them mom and dad, while my biological parents, are called by mommy and daddy. so, when i started 1st grade, they decided to start a new life abroad and they went to new york. so that is why i went to new york when i was 12, 16, 27 and 31.

after being there in 1993, i came back in 1996 and as i was older i was allowed to go to other places with my portuguese friends that lived there. it was amazing to visit niagara falls, the statue of liberty, the metropolitan museum of art and so much more! and this picture was from the trip to the statue of liberty. i have pictures inside the world trade center, i remember everything when we got in the elevator and it took us 107 floors up at a speed compared to an airplane. i remember looking at the empire state building from there… it was overwhelming being on the street and looking up. the thing about new york is that i always felt at home, and never a tourist there. for years and years, or most of my life, i dreamed about moving to that city. i always felt i belonged there. it was a feeling that i had never had in any other city.

and then 9/11 happened. i remember getting ready to go to work, i was having lunch at home and suddenly i zapped and landed on a world trade center on fire, minutes later the second tower was hit and minutes after that, the first tower collapsed. i could not believe my eyes… it was heartbreaking and i couldn’t understand what was going on. i don’t have much to say after this, because 11 years after, a lot has happened in this world and the only thing i know is that the world changes in ways we never even suspected. and we never know what’s next!