a week ago i spent the weekend in lisbon, preparing my third craft fair. i took some time on saturday morning to pick up some prints from the photo lab and walked through the main avenue in lisbon, called liberty. this is where you can find the most expensive stores, like prada, louis vuitton, dolce & gabanna and so on, and so on.
ironically, that saturday another craft fair was happening on that same avenue. and ironically i say, because on this craft fair you can find either vintage and antiques, and other fresh design work. and again, ironically because antiques and vintage stood on the left side (if you were going up) and the fresh design work stood on the right side… exactly where you can also find the most expensive stores. this made me question the reason for this… because if this avenue has many tourists… if they go there, perhaps to walk the avenue… and to shop a little, will these show any interest for a 20€ necklace if they spent 500€ on a louis vuitton bag? who knows, right?
i ended up having lunch on the hot dog place and then went up towards the {jardim da estrela}, walked around a while, took some pictures and finally headed home. i miss these moments. i miss having the time to walk around lisbon and just find new corners, save memories of beautiful balconies… catch some sun, exploring narrow streets…
i think that wanting to do everything by ourselves, often ends in a overwhelming feeling of stress and anxiety. and that is how i have been feeling lately. always feeling that i am behind on something… well, behind on several things. feeling that i do not have the time for taking care of my own home. not having the time to stop and enjoy the day. not having the time to breathe. not catching up. always. i always have the feeling that i am still behind. and that is exactly why i left consulting. because that feeling takes my air away… not my breath in a good and exciting way. but taking my air. i think that i need to re-organize, to take some time to think… or not to think. sometimes it is about not thinking at all. just wandering, just being… just snapping. thinking about being perfect all the time, or being able to do everything all the time is… sometimes, exhausting.
and as i do not intend to pursue perfection after all (i think i forget that sometimes) i will stop. stop for a while. being here. but not being here all the time. sharing, but not sharing all the time. managing the business, but not managing everything all the time, as if i had a dreadful deadline under my head. as if the world would stop if i did not do something i need to do. the world will not stop. i know it won’t. so, i will instead. well, i will not stop, i will just place myself on another mindset. i will focus on other things that need my attention. i will make my day a little bit lighter, so that i can sleep like i should, because if i search and defend a certain way of life, i should be able to live it in the first place, right? so this is also my way of sharing that i am tired. once again, as i usually share with you, when i am tired or exhausted and will stop a while.
i actually though twice about sharing this. because i thought i could turn into that blogger/photographer that pursues so many things at the same time and gets tired a lot. well… creativity sometimes needs to be controlled as well. and i am not tired a lot, i just need to stop from time to time to recharge. i need to stop, so that i can keep loving to do what i do. and acknowledging that is a great way to manage a healthy and happy life. the world will not end tomorrow!
Andreia says
I love the first photo!
I think you are right Claudia: we must always find balance when working, even when we are doing what we love to do. On the other hand, any business at its beginning needs lots of effort and commitment, but again the balance is very important , because the business itself needs our strength, our happiness, our healthy life.
I will come here whenever you want to share something.
Ana says
Sometimes I wonder how you do it. Always busy, always producing new things in such a rhythm that it seems you never stop.
As it seems, it’s just that! You need to stop.
Have a break. Rest and come back refreshed.
I know that launching a new business is a monstrous thing when you’re doing it alone, but you have to be able to enjoy things, to appreciate what you do.
I hope you rest as you need. We’ll be here as always!
Mafalda Fernandes says
Gosto bastante da primeira foto, que saudades do outono! e também da terceira, que por outro lado me faz recordar a primavera.
Pequenas paragens são essenciais para repor energias e organizar a cabeça, que às vezes uma pessoa na rotina diária acaba por não conseguir distanciar-se o suficiente para saber se está a fazer tudo como devia, ou se isto ou aquilo é mais importante. Era para já te ter deixado um comentário ontem, quando vi o teu post, mas já era tarde e preferi pensar com calma antes de dizer algo, não é por nada, mas há alturas do dia que o cérebro já não funciona a 100%.
Bjs